I Saw This And I Though Of You

Here are a few bits and pieces of news that wouldn't necessarily warrant a post of their own, but together make for a decent excuse to use that gross picture!

{Ask & Ye Shall Receive}
SCHF received two polite re-up requests from Simon yesterday and so it is SCHF's great pleasure to inform yez all that these links are now 'live', as it were.
POLITICAL ASYLUM - Rock, You Sucker
SHELLY'S CHILDREN - The Mask Of Anarchy

{What's Up In Ireland?}
Well, I'm sure there is loads going on over there, in fact I know there is as I was just over there again myself last week, but you are here for the music so I'll point ya in the direction of the feckin' excellent THALIDOMIDES. Incredibly competent brutal HARD-core, listening to this it's hard to believe it's only a demo yet. Enjoy it, my feral ones, enjoy! Their's is a fairly spartan mice pace page, but there is a link to their groin-throbbingly good demo, and here is that link if you don't want to sully yer 'puter in Murdoch World.

{What About Transgendered Space Aliens?}
Glad you asked. "She-Males From Outta Space Of Death" are a pair of good-time Germans (is there any other kind?) who mix all kinds of fast punk subgenres with a drum machine and an addictive sense of fun - they're funny even if you don't speak German. The twiddly techno parts put me in mind of a less (much less) serious INTRO5PECT, but I might still be a touch unbalanced as week 17 of not smoking reaches the halfway point. The demo is called "YOU NEVER GET A CANNIBAL-BLOWJOB TWICE" and <- that's your link.

Someone Always Has To Spoil The Fun

Midge Ure is another shining example of an utter wizard's sleeve! I swear the man never saw a bandwagon he didn't want to jump on and piss all over. Take a look at that wiki (link above) to see just how many good names (and one so-so) he tried to wipe off the face of the planet. It's almost as if he really hates music or something. If you doubt me (and really - you shouldn't) think on this - He was BONNY to Bob Geldof's CLYDE in unleashing Live / Band Aid on an unsuspecting and unprepared public. That shows how much contempt he has for people in general and music fans in particular.
Ahem - so where am I going with this? Oh right - ULTRAVOX. Or ULTRAVOX! as it was at the time of the release of this, their 2nd album, "Ha! Ha! Ha!". (pay attention to that all imortant exclaimation mark in the band name.)
Released in 1977 to almost no recognition this feckin' superb slab of punk rock still sounds amazing 32 years later. Terms like "Great Lost Punk Album" get bandied about by no-nothings hoping to clean up financially on eBay, but this is SCHF and we chose our words wisely here. This might well be the great lost punk album, check out these 8 frantic, noisey feedback cloaked punk stompers perfectly married with (original singer) John Foxx's vocals. All the super basic ingredients are here - rudimentary song structures, often starting slow, getting faster, noisier, becoming totally spazzed by the end - (cf "Artificial Life".) Does it get any more punk than that? I don't think so matey! The track "Hiroshima Mon Amore" might have the more conservative punks in the audience feeling a bit worried, as it shows some early signs of New Romanticisms {shudder} but it's a great song if you give it a chance. I've thrown in 7" A-side "Young Savage" at the end. Not featured on the original lp version, I've included it, because not only does the title scream PUNK FUCKING ROCK, but the bloody song does too.
ULTRAVOX! - Ha! Ha! Ha!

Gingernut, Fell In The Cup & Frightened All The Fishes

Some things are so patently obvious that they hardly need saying. But nothing can be allowed to get in the way of SCHF having a good old fashioned spittle-flecked rant. A bloody good rant can be cathartic.
A bloody obvious thing to say is "Mick Hucknall should be taken outside and fed screaming to starving rottweilers". The man is vile. I feel like I must shower after typing his name. I want to punch his face over and over through all the stages of R.S.I. And then once more for good luck. How the fuck do otherwise sane women justify their screeching harpy-lust for this abomination? Why do I even care? Because SCHF finds himself in a predicament that he does not care for. That is - before S*mply R*d, The Mancs. Moron had the good taste to front ace punk band "Frantic Elevators", and SCHF wholeheartedly approves of their first wave punk songs, with a sharp dose of art-iness thrown in to the mix. The kind of tunes that would make SCHF forgive any other bile inducing disgrace-to-the-word "soul" singer for all crimes against music ever since. But I can't forgive M.H. for "Money's Too Tight..." etc. This misleadingly titled "Singles" disc is short and, well, Frantic! It isn't the complete singles collection, rather it is the first 3 track 7" and 3 demo tracks - all damned good, but really - the interview I could do with out. It's included here so you too can join the hate-fest at the sound of M.H.'s voice. The Git.
FRANTIC ELEVATORS - Singles

Kiss shreds

You've probably all seen this already, but it's too funny not to showcase on SCHF.

Some Flys have All The Luck

I would love to have been a fly on the wall of any Hackney squat on the day this was released just to see the reaction from the black-rags-clad joyless anarcho types...
...What the fuck...? Where are the easily digestible and repeatable infantile slogans? Where the fuck is the stenciled lettering?
WHY DID CRASS LET GO OF MY HAND??

Strange to say more than a few anarcho-survivors now say they prefer this recording over much of the rest of Cr@ss's output. And that pretty much holds true for us here in the House Of Flying Flagons, because it gets played a lot more than most of the bands' other records, not because it's the best thing they ever did, (that would be side "A" of "Yes Sir! I Will"), but because it's rewarding to listen to time after time, and it doesn't feel like you're being shouted at or lectured by a spit-speckled tramp in the bus station. And while Mr. Ignorant does get to do his hysterical vocal thing once or twice, it the music (no wall of noise here) that wins the prize on this. A fine mix of avant guard, free jazz and modern classical (!), if you listen very closely from time to time you can hear guitar or bass lines lifted from "the hits". If all Cr@ss records sounded this good I'd be proud to call myself a fan.

CRASS - 10 Notes On A Summers Day

Great Mistakes Of Our Time # 2,000,000

<- those grey clouds will be gone soon my pretties!
Ok - it was a mistake on my part to even think that I could leave SCHF behind and try something new. Can I do it? Can I fuck! Pretend the last few months didn't happen, give me a few days to re-up any links and we'll be back in cider swilling business ok?
Sheesh - I'm nearly 39 yrs old, and I still give in to peer pressure.

Uppy-dation:
The Following are re-upped.
Drainland - Demo
Die Toten Hosen - Unter Falscher Flagge
Destructors - Exercise The Demons Of Youth
V.A. - Japan In Decline

V.A. - Japanoise

Easpa Measa - Easpa Measa
IOD - Mundane Existence
Sportchestra. - 101 Songs About Sport
The Members - The Sound Of The Suburbs
Snotnosed - Live Shit Action
Asian Dub Foundation - Community Music
Only Fumes And Corpses - Demo
One Way System - All Systems Go
Killing Joke - Killing Joke
Splodgenessabounds - The Artful Splodger
Penetration - Moving Targets
Sheep Dip - Demo
Erazerhead - Shellshocked (The Best Of)
The Members - The Sound Of The Suburbs

The rest will be up after Sat. 11th. Anything prior to Nov. 08 will only be re-upped if asked for ok?.

No Entry

Life, being a bit of a bitch, throws up many questions for which there Ain't No Answers. I was discussing this over a flagon or four with my good friend and professional barfly Psycho Kylie recently, and try as we might we could think of nothing that would Give Us A Future we could look forward to. Then I had the kind of idea that only the very rawest of scrumpy can give you.
"Let's go to Jerusalem", slurred I.
"What - just Me And You?", replied the psychotic one. The more we thought and talked about it, the better the idea seemed. After pooling together all our money (and casually picking each others' pockets to make sure) we found we had enough cash for 2 single journeys. Unless we came up with a fast money making scheme we could go, but there would be No Return. We had to go! The fact of the matter was, if we stayed here in Birmingham we would just atrophy and Waste Away. There was only one thing to do. We took the No. 11 bus to Bearwood, alighting just at the point where the road into the city becomes a One Way System, and set about looking for The Glue Sniffing Skinhead, known without affection to everybody as Gutterboy. A veteran of all types of criminal activities, he above all people would know of somewhere worth Breaking In and robbing. After making enquiries as to his whereabouts, we discovered, to our horror, that this prime example of Thatcher's Forgotten Generation had paid the ultimate price for his casual racism, becoming the latest Victim of the Halal Avenger who had ritually Slaughtered him. Demoralised and unable to think of anything else to do, we returned to the House Of Flying Flagons and tore into the emergency scrumpy and forgot about Jerusalem.
After all that I'll bet Your Ready Now to listen to the 1982 debut album from One way System - which is also available on cd from Captain Oi! records with 9 bonus tracks? Of course you are.
ONE WAY SYSTEM - All Systems Go